During the last 2 months, I ended my busiest season of the year, had a baby, and bought a mini van – all of which are big transitions.

Truth be told it has been a really challenging time for me. When I’ve reflected on how I’m feeling over the past few months, the word weary is what keeps coming to mind.

I’ve realized yet again (parenting is a great teacher) that there is a big part of me that is selfish and doesn’t trust God. I’d like to think that I’ve learned a lot about rest over the years. Heck, I’ve even taught other people about rest. That true rest is found in trusting God, not relaxing or sleeping late. That it is active, not passive. But as I’ve been exhausted, both physically and emotionally, these past couple months, I’ve struggled with this. And God has taught me in the struggle that I so often look to religion to give me life but rarely do I look to Christ Himself. There is a part of me that approaches God based on how I’m doing, and when I don’t perceive myself to be doing well, I have a hard time trusting Him.

How do you still make time to be connected with God – in the midst of a season where it feels like you have no time, and the time you do have, you find yourself falling asleep while trying to read or pray because you’re so tired? That’s the question I asked a mentor recently. His answer reminded me of this truth – that reading the Bible won’t simply connect you to God. That Christ Himself is life. Nothing else. And if you look to your own spiritual efforts (in essence, religion) to give you life, you’ll be living in legalism.

I’m thankful for that reminder. That God’s grace is so good. That in the midst of my weariness, I really can trust Him. When it feels like I have nothing to bring the table, He is life. And He alone is the source of rest, regardless of how unimpressive my “spiritual activity” may be.